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October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

I'm worried about a friend, what can I do?

When we suspect relationships are mentally, emotionally or physically violent or abusive, why do we all of a sudden feel like "it's none of our business?" 

Good question! Is it ever REALLY our business to get involved when we suspect that someone we know is in a relationship that is unhealthy? Maybe we are asking the wrong question. The REAL question is, How can we support people that we care about, when we believe that they are in a relationship that is hurting them? Wouldn't we want someone to show up for us if we were struggling? 

More than 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and more than 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the U.S. will experience rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

Overall the percentages of Trans and LGBTQ+ individuals who are affected byintimate partner violence are estimated to be even higher than their cisgender counterparts. 

Based on these statistics, the chances are you've known someone, will know someone or will be someone who will experience a relationship that is mentally, emotionally or physically abusive. 

So what do you say? Where do you start? 

Consider these tips: 

  1. Start by initiating a conversation that lets your friend know that you care about them and are concerned: Start this conversation with an affirmative statement like, "You're always so fun to be around. I've missed you!"
  2. Avoid being Accusatory: If you know your friend's relationship is unhealthy, it's okay to say, "I've noticed you're always on your phone. Is there anything going on that you want to talk about?" Instead of, "Stop answering that. Just tell them you're busy." 
  3. Be Supportive: Listen to your friend and let them open up about the situation on their own terms. Don't be forceful with the conversation and remind them that you want tohelp. 
  4. Focus on the Behavior: Instead of labeling their partner as "abusive" or "bad," focus on the unhealthy behaviors you've seen and provide your friend with a safe space to talk about it. (https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/i-did-a-thing-is-my-friend-in-an-abusive-relationship/) 

Resources here on campus that provide emotional and mental health support. Both resourcesoffer individual and group counseling and can help refer students to outside resources. 

Posted: October 6, 2023, 10:56 AM

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